


Bitter

by eisernedrossel



Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: Confessional Sex, Fluff with a touch of smut stuff, Hurt/Comfort, Love Confessions, M/M, Nightmares, Romance, handjob
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-30
Updated: 2014-06-30
Packaged: 2018-02-06 20:34:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,781
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1871538
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eisernedrossel/pseuds/eisernedrossel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Neither sharp nails nor canine teeth is enough to make Ciel afraid, though he now seems to have a reason for staying up late at night.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bitter

**Author's Note:**

> Chapter 94 broke me, I needed a way out.

It was past midnight when Ciel placed the twenty-second document on top of the pile of previous pages of his new assignment that was handed to him merely a few days ago by the Queen herself. Her familiar face that lightened up with a tender smile on her lips now appeared in his mind, recalling all the words she said about the current mission he was working on when she charged him with it. Ciel was in fact, asked to wait until he received another file including specific information on prior actions taken by suspects in order not to split up two different murder cases and be sure that the criminals behind them work for the same organization. The truth is, he was too proud to admit that he lately grew the habit of staying up late, avoiding sleep intentionally. Hence, running an eye over the same file for days and days seemed to keep him busy, giving him an excuse to not retire for the day yet. Looking out of the immense window that was located just behind his study desk and realizing the rain doesn’t have an intention of letting up for the night, Ciel rubbed his eyes and even though he was alone in his room, he fought down his will to yawn. Trying to get back to his work and add to his already exhaustive analysis on the murder scene, he accidentally hit and knocked down the empty tea glass that was brought to him earlier by his butler. The glass hit the ground, accompanied by a couple of curses that escaped the young earl’s lips as well as being suppressed by the sound of raindrops hitting the window. Ciel was sure he heard it. He took a deep breath in, closing his eyes and resting his chin on his hands after settling down to his armchair. One, two, three- _ah._

_There he is._

The sound of footsteps came to an end when his shadow stopped before the entrance of Ciel’s room, as though hesitating to come in as Ciel opened his eyes ever so slowly. After a few seconds of doubt, three low-pitched knocks that resembled a question mark were left on the door, enquiring why the young master was still up at this hour, rather than asking for permission to come in. Ciel didn’t know exactly when, but they formed this habit of communicating through other ways than of speaking during sometime in the past two years. The young earl stood up from where he was sitting with one of those rare smiles on his lips and went straight to the door. If death came knocking on your door, what would you do then?

Even for mere seconds, it was always fun to see Sebastian’s face tense with surprise.

“Young master, it is not like you to open the door yourself, even so, for me.”

“You interrupted my work.” said Ciel bluntly.

Sebastian raised an eyebrow,

“Are you still working at this hour?”

He gave a quick look at the mess that was on the study desk.

“I recall you were demanded to remain quiescent until we are provided further information on this case?”

“However I do not recall calling you here, at this hour to question my actions.”

There was a brief pause in which Sebastian sighed and Ciel kept his gaze on him, as much as the candlelight allowed him to.

“Sleep deprivation will have a negative effect on your energy and keep you from fulfilling your duties properly tomorrow. Perhaps this is the reason why you have trouble following your schedule recently?”

“Tch.”

He kept glaring at Sebastian, even though- well, mostly because he knew the truth behind his words.

“If you have trouble falling asleep, you could simply ask for me to prepare some milk for you. Adding honey is also known to soothe-“

“It’s not that I can’t sleep, I just don’t want to.”  
The words escaped Ciel’s lips, unlike the presence in front of him, without waiting for his command. There was no way a being like Sebastian would understand Ciel’s concept of fear and how the most suitable place for it to show off in the most twisted ways is those hours when he was asleep. Ciel turned on his heel, regretting the decision he didn’t get the time to make.

“I do not wish to hear you lecture me tonight so go entertain yourself with something else.”

He was stopped from moving any further by the tight grasp on his wrist.

“Wha-“

Sebastian moved swiftly, closing the gap between them with one step.

“Then ask me.”

“Ask you? What do I have to ask of you, demon? Do I seem to be in need of your help?”

Ciel’s back was now leaning against the wall, both of his hands meeting the coldness with their backs.

“I am _your_ demon. I belong to you as much as you belong to me. Every measure that forms this body of yours is mine, and every inch of my presence is under your command; yet you still insist on looking at me the way you would to anyone else.”  
“I have no such intention of being-“  
“I know you better than anyone else. I’m aware of everything you’re too ashamed to confess even to yourself. Yet you still try to hide from me.”

Sebastian brought his hand to unfold the neat tie of Ciel’s eye patch. Letting the fine piece of cotton fall down, he caressed the silky, dark colored hair. He moved his face closer until there was merely an inch between the two.

“Ask this of me, _master_.”

In addition to Sebastian’s daring words and movements, being called by him with such craving for the very first time, Ciel merely stood there, astonished. What now? He had always been the son of logic, calculations and relationships based on profit. He had lost the point in having feelings, mostly because he has been feeling like he doesn’t live his own life; but one that is borrowed in exchange for something he can never get back. Who would be the first to fall, in a room of two, where one is a coldblooded creature that was born in darkness; whereas the other is someone who crawled up from there?

Ciel closed his mouth that was slightly open, and steadied his stand. With his contract gleaming in the darkness of his ridiculously wide room, he placed his hand on Sebastian’s cheek like he did that time, when leaving Baron Kelvin’s side before burning down every inch of the musty castle.

He inhaled.

“I want to make you feel sorry for what you must eventually make me give up on.”

Sebastian now fully cornered Ciel between the wall and himself, caressing his arm on his way to reach his hands that looked more fragile than they already were when he held them, and placed both above Ciel’s head. He knew he had already crossed that dim line, but even so, stealing his master’s first kiss was something he would never dare without being given the permission. Sebastian waited, staring at Ciel’s eyes which resembled that of a sorely heavy sea, fluctuating with numerous emotions that he often tried his hardest to shut deep inside.

It was Ciel, however, who took a step forward and closed the gap between the two.

With nervous movements, but never hesitant, Ciel placed his upper lip on top of Sebastian’s lower one and closed his eyes, while being dragged into a soft embrace by his butler. Sebastian moved his hands to Ciel’s back slowly, feeling all of his skin and bones while making their way from his sides. Their kiss was soft and tender with Ciel’s head slightly turned to the side and Sebastian leaning forward with the will to steal his breath away.

Sebastian didn’t look much like himself when he didn’t have that smirk on his lips. It was more like he was having trouble controlling himself, or he was holding back with the fear of hurting his master. That amused Ciel, however, who was already dizzy with the taste of Sebastian’s lips on his. He tasted like bitter chocolate, leaving a deep sensation with every kiss he placed on Ciel and making him crave for more the second he let go.

Ciel was soon out of his breath, holding onto Sebastian’s strong arms and resting his head on his chest while trying to stop himself from panting. Sebastian leaned forward and reached the side of Ciel’s neck, leaving soft, tender kisses on the smooth skin. Ciel turned his head to the other side with small moans escaping from his lips, in order to give better access to Sebastian who was now moving into the nest of his neck. Ciel took a handful of Sebastian’s hair as much as his small fists allowed him to and pressed himself even closer to him. Sebastian stopped abruptly, placing another soft kiss before taking his lips away.

“Wh-Why did you stop?”

“Wouldn’t the young master feel more comfortable if he was lying on his bed?”

“Take me, then. Just what are you waiting for?”

With his smirk back on his lips, Sebastian placed one of his hands on the sides of Ciel’s legs, while supporting his movement with his other hand on his back; carrying his master to his bed. Sebastian placed Ciel on the delicate mattress slowly, carefully before gently crawling on top of him. He went on where he left off, tasting every bit of Ciel while caressing his soft hair until he felt a sudden chill on his cheek.

“Master?”  
“…”

Sebastian leaned in to kiss the teardrop that fell from his right eye.

“You stupid, goddamn demon, damn you for being so careless.”  
Ciel’s voice was cracked, having left his throat in a shaky way before meeting Sebastian’s face, which now had a perplexed look on.

“I do not think I understand-“  
“That time when we were away on Campania in order to investigate Aurora Society. Why don’t you take proper care of yourself, you damned nitwit? How dare you collapse before my eyes when I’m unable to do anything other than stare at how you struggle to stand still?”

Ciel grabbed Sebastian’s cheeks with one hand, pulling his face closer until their lips barely touched.

“This is an order Sebastian, as long as I’m in this world, you are obliged to stay here with me as well. I had forbid you from failing before, now I forbid you from passing away. If you ever dare make me go through a feeling of that sort again, I swear I, in the name of everything I have, you imbecile, I swear I’ll- just- damn you-“

It was the first time Ciel failed to complete a sentence when he was talking to Sebastian, so he thought it better to express himself in a different way. His kiss was passionate, demanding, almost challenging, but overall; full of fear. Sebastian scared Ciel. He had seen his butler in his true form many times before. He witnessed how the way his eyes looked changed into something utterly twisted, saw his nails sharpen and watched him murder numerous people. Nonetheless, none of this made Ciel view Sebastian in a different way, let alone frighten him. Yet here he was, haunted by nightmares in which his butler was lying beneath him, covered in blood, his porcelain skin looking even paler.

“This is the reason why the young master can’t sleep.”  
For the first time, Ciel held back his will to slap him on his face.

Whilst his hands moving in Ciel’s thighs, making their way into the inner parts, Sebastian kept on talking in a tone which sent shivers into Ciel’s body.

“There were lots of contractors with whom I wasn’t, let me say it directly, honest. There were times in which I didn’t wait for them to fulfill their wishes, because I was simply disenchanted with how boring their mediocre lives were.”

Sebastian was now holding Ciel’s erection in his hand, moving his thumb up an down on top, caressing the skin and making Ciel shudder.

“How many times have I faced death since that day, young master? No matter the count, never have I thought of leaving your side once. I answered your call every time that mouth of yours opened to say my name-“  
“Nnn- S-Sebastian…”

“I guarded you with my own body- did you know that, young master, I have never done that before for any of my former contractors?”

Ciel was holding tightly to Sebastian’s shirt, pulling it down, exposing Sebastian’s firm chest and shoulders with his eyes slightly closed.

“You are special to me, young master. I have never been with any of them for so long. I _will,_ my lord, protect you until my last breath and make sure I don’t fail to fulfill any of your wishes or be separated from you, because I haven’t had enough of kissing your lips just yet. Do you know why?”

Ciel was at his limit, his hands twirled around Sebastian’s neck and pulling him even closer than he already is. Sebastian stopped his movement to unzip his pants, sensing Ciel won’t be able to hold back much longer. He placed one of his fingers inside him while kissing his forehead, educing louder moans from the body beneath him. He placed another finger in after a few seconds, causing Ciel to move his hips upwards as he reached his spot. With his free hand, Sebastian caressed Ciel’s cheek and placed kisses on the nest of his neck once again, while putting in the last finger inside him that was needed for his preparation. With Ciel moaning under his body, holding onto him, Sebastian took his own erection in his hand and stopped at the entrance of Ciel.

“Because I love you.”  
Sebastian pushed in, slowly, eliciting yet another perfectly pleasing moan from Ciel. He kept on thrusting in while leaning in to kiss his master, at the same time taking off his glove with one hand. He moved his hips back, repeating the same movement over and over again in a somewhat rhythmic sense. Ciel was holding onto him tightly, hiding his face under the crook of Sebastian’s left shoulder, biting the skin while Sebastian buried his face in his messed up hair. His mouth was slightly open and every gasp that escaped his mouth made Ciel bite even harder, bury his nails into Sebastian’s back, so very much like a kitten.

“I… I -love you so m-much it’s killing… Me and I-I’ve _–ah-_ let you in, S-Seba… Sebastian… Nnn Sebastian, Sebastian _, Sebastian…”_

“Ssh, I’m right here, am I not? Right, _hngh,_ by your side and I have no intention of leaving.”

Ciel was, in point of fact, crying like this for the very first time in his life. He felt the ache in his chest shatter every time another of his wails left his mouth. He felt the heavy burden he had been carrying far more than he should have break into tiny bits and diminish in a painstakingly slow way, as if it was the sole reason of Sebastian’s existence. The irony behind his feelings drove him mad, so he chose not to think. He, Earl Ciel Phantomhive, chose to hold onto his savior and death, having his cries turn into soft sobs as he let Sebastian in more and more. Again, they needn’t warn each other that they were both at their limits, instead, Ciel being louder with a noticeable boost in his voice and Sebastian holding his breath and clenching to his master even more.

**

“Was it true?”  
“Hm?”

“…What you said when you were, you know. Did you really mean it?”  
“Master, I have always been honest with-“  
“Don’t give me this now, Sebastian, I know you have no other choice than telling me the truth.”

“Then what more do you wish to hear?”

“…”

Sebastian smiled, pulling Ciel’s body closer to his as he leaned down until his nose touched his forehead.

“I love you.”  
“…”  
“You look really cute when your cheeks are lightened with this pinkish color. Perhaps I should see to it that arrangements on an outfit based on-“

Ciel turned his head suddenly, kissing Sebastian’s lips in a passionate, dominant way.  
“Shut up.”

He snuggled into Sebastian’s chest, breathing in his scent as much as he could. He always loved his scent. Sebastian didn’t use any perfume, though the way his body had such captivating odour had always left Ciel amazed.

Sebastian smiled, resting his chin on his master’s forehead.

“Sleep now master, for there shall be no more nightmares tonight.”


End file.
